In late 2013, we started attending Cross Mountain Church. I felt like the craziness of adopting our 4 boys and Desiree moving in had sort of died down a little. I was ready to serve in church again. I knew kids ministry wasn’t where my passion was anymore. That passion sort of died with some heavy life events in 2009.
I met Claire Berard in a Next Steps class she was teaching at Cross Mountain. She was in charge of First Impressions…you know making new people feel welcome. I thought, “I love people and love making them feel like they belong.” She welcomed me aboard and let my passion grow.
Fast forward to our move to Colorado.
We visited A LOT of churches because not a single one felt like “home”. We would walk into churches and NO ONE would talk to us. I even cried one time when not a single kids ministry volunteer spoke to my kids as they entered a new classroom. This got me thinking, “This has to be done better. I will keep trying and going but I am a mature Christian. What about the seeker? What about the person who needs connection?”
Fast forward to our move back to Texas.
We visited our current church, Crosspoint Fellowship Church. No one spoke to us. We had to fill out the paperwork and wait for someone to enter it. They didn’t seem thrilled to see us. Thankfully the kids ministry volunteer greeted the kids. (That one step saved the day.)
We both felt called to this church, so we decided to just plug in despite the lack of feeling connected. Pastor Corey helped get us plugged into a Journey Team (small group) and into serving teams. Guess where I wanted to serve… That’s right… First Impressions. Specifically I wanted to welcome new guests. I wanted to make someone else’s experience better than mine.
I served on this team for about 7 months. Then I got to start helping to manage the Plan Your Visit concept. This is where a guest notifies me via a link on our church website that they would like to visit. I then get all their info, pre-register and check in kids, save them a parking space, greet them at the door with a gift, show them around, get the kids to their classes, and then show them to their reserved seat in service.
Now this is where my passion meets my spiritual gifting! I love having everything ready to make their visit super easy and non stressful. I love creating an atmosphere that welcomes. I love following up and building relationships. I love connecting people.
In February of this year I accepted a part time job as our Community Pastor’s Admin Assistant. My job has lots of pieces but most of it is people oriented- coordinating volunteers, Plan Your Visit, Welcome Center for new walk up guests, 6 weeks of guest follow up, connecting people to Journey Teams and Dream Teams, and lots of other things.
Needless to say I am LOVING getting the privilege of ministering to people by building relationships and connecting them to a church body who will love them. I am loving seeing new faces become faces I see every week. I love making sure that everyone who comes through the door… for the 1st time or the 1000th time feels welcome and noticed!
So what is my purpose? My purpose is that of every Christ Follower… to live a life that points others to God in both words and actions. (In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16)
So what is my passion? My passion is most definitely connecting with people and helping them feel connected. (Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31)
So what is my gifting? Hospitality- I tend to have an uncanny ability to make people feel welcome and I enjoy it! It excites me! (Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:9-10)
In my 20’s I adopted this as my life motto: Life is all about your relationships… with Jesus, with those around you, and with yourself.
Is my new job work? Doesn’t feel like it… It feels like it is a perfect meshing of my purpose, passion, and gifting. It feels like God putting an exclamation point on His calling!
So it has been awhile since I posted (since 2017). A lot has happened and changes have occurred.
1. In August 2017, Niel began a new job within Mednax that allowed him to work from home when not traveling.
2. In December 2017, we went to visit our families in Texas over Christmas. While there we both became convicted one Sunday that we needed to move home to be able to invest in our families. So like Gideon in Judges 6, we threw out the “fleece”. We needed God to move some major pieces…like selling a house we had just bought for a lot more than we paid and in January in Denver (snow).
We said, “Okay God if you sell our home we will move back to Texas.” God again showed us He has it all under control. Our home listed on Jan 6th and sold in 24 hours.
We moved back home on Jan 18th. We lived with Margaret and Niel (Niel’s parents) for a few months while we found our home in Texas. Turned out to be a blessing because we got to help my MIL through colon cancer treatment/chemo. We also got to celebrate remission!!!!
3. April 5th, 2018- we moved into our beautiful new home in Cibolo, Texas. 
Personally…I couldn’t be happier. Colorado was beautiful and I LOVED the mountains and trails. However, now that I look back, I realize our time in Colorado was a bit of a travel through the desert for my soul. I had a couple friends but it wasn’t the same. I realize now I was lonely and I don’t feel like I was growing. I feel like I was purposeless. I wasn’t plugged into a church like I wanted to be until right before we moved. I know God had a purpose and was growing me through that season to get me to where I am now.
Now…this new neighborhood we live in…just WOW! Never have I had such community! We have been blessed to have had GOOD friends as neighbors in every home (Leigh, Emily, Karla, Danielle) we have lived in. This is different though! This is a whole group of friends that love each other. We do life together, hang out, celebrate holidays together, and our kids play together. We dive in and help when needed. It is just awesome!
4. Family: NOTHING BETTER!
Tylor has graduated with his Bachelors Degree. He and Jessica have two kids. Jayden is 5 and starts Kinder in August 2019. Jazlyn is 2.
Desiree got married on August 3, 2018, to Blayne Newsome. They are both working and taking college courses. 
Marcus is going to be in the 5th grade. He got to attend preteen camp for the first time this summer. I’d say he is hooked. He is a voracious reader and enjoys bike riding. 
Bryan is going to be in the 3rd grade. He is taking extra tennis lessons and seems to be showing some talent. He enjoys building legos and anything athletic.
Gabriel is going to be in the 3rd grade also. He is developing into an incredible friend. He goes beyond to take care of his brothers and friends. He like to read, play outside, and is a great artist.
Grayson is going to be in the 1st grade. He LIVES to do art and create. This kid uses so much tape! (Seriously!) He is always engineering really cool mechanical lego designs that move, etc.
My mom splits time between my sister’s home and ours. It is nice to have her around more often. 
Margaret and Niel live about 2 miles from us. The boys enjoy seeing them often and they get to help cut their lawn now.
Stay tuned for what I am doing now…
We all have bad days! We all have those days where we want to give in to our inner child with screaming and returning to bed.
Yesterday was one of those for me. It had been brewing for weeks with kids crying every school day and then me being sick last week. It ran over with a kid lying first thing in the morning. (Lying is a struggle for one of my kids.) I LOST it! I got angry! I wanted to throw in the towel and return to bed, but I have responsibilities on Mondays. I tutor a class at my Classical Conversations Community so I had no choice. I left my “in trouble” kid at home with Desi where he could think about his actions because, honestly, I couldn’t handle him. I needed some space.
I left the house to go pour into our CC Community’s kids feeling like a complete failure. Mercy in regards to our sin nature isn’t one of my natural giftings. The tendency to raise my voice is one of my natural tendencies. It should be obvious by now that those two things shouldn’t manifest themselves in a mom with 4 young kids at home.
I was berating myself for losing it and for not having solved this “lying” issue yet (2.5 years now). I was rethinking homeschooling. I began to think maybe I was overcommited (tutoring at CC, directing Awanas, serving at church, homeschooling, baking). I was feeling pretty yucky.
My devotion email was late getting to me so I only had time to pop it open right before I started teaching my class. Of course it was just what God needed to say to me:
2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
God’s voice spoke! Surrendering it all to Him I claimed my glorious weakness and became strong in Him. I don’t need to fix this “lying” issue…it is God’s to fix in His child. I can pray and modify how I approach it, but ultimately God will deal with His child’s heart. As for my lack of mercy…I just needed that simple reminder of how flawed I am and how perfectly God loves me. When I REST in Him, He shines through me. My patience is long. My voice is soft. My spirit exudes joy. My parenting is tender. It rubs off on everyone in my house.
So by the time I got home 4 hours later I was ready to give this kid and myself a fresh start. We took a walk, both deciding we would just be silent for awhile and let God speak to us. When we did talk he took my hand as we walked and discussed how we can do better from here on out.
If you are like me your failings will come back front and center as you will feel guilty. Stop right there with that…it is really just Satan. God forgives and forgets. He makes us new. Satan attempts to destroy our spirits with guilt. So no I am not going to feel bad. I am learning. I am imperfect and God is made strong in my weakness!
My day moved forward more positively. As I was baking Chicken Cordon Blue for dinner my youngest (4) decorated my house with his creations. Oh they are simple and silly, but he says, “Mommy i just love you so much. You are the best Mommy ever.”
And this, ladies and gentleman, is why I have crazy looking decorations all over the house…to remind me of the precious hearts around me who love me unconditionally…just like God does.
Back in February, I shared with you our heartache over our daughter. Read the post here: Minus One at Home.
We had to demonstrate tough love. Let me tell you that this was HARD and it broke us, but we knew we had no other choice.
As she moved out, we began praying that God would change her heart, heal her, grow her, break her if needed, and that our love for her would grow. Let me tell you…you cannot be angry at someone when you are genuinely praying for them. What a gift!
I kept tabs on this child of ours by stalking her twitter feed. Oh it saddened me to see where she was spiritually but I could at least see that she was alive. (Side Note: Thank God my parents didnt have social media when I was being a pill!)
So we continued with no contact until the end of June. One evening she randomly texted us a quite genuine apology. She said she didn’t expect us to forgive her. Silly girl!!!! These two parents couldn’t say “You are forgiven,” fast enough!!!
We began the process of just communicating regularly since she was in a different state. It felt good to be able to tell her I love her and to just have normal conversation.
I could see the process of change beginning. She started attending church. She started trying to figure her life out. I saw her conversation on social media change.
Life wasn’t easy for our girl. It rarely is!
A big part of Desi’s struggle is because she has wanted and craved a relationship with her mom where communcation is open, where acceptance abounds, and where honesty exists. I think my girl hoped that this could happen. Her hope didnt come to fruition.
Eventually the conversation turned to, “Why would God allow me to be going through this?”
I gently reminded her that she stepped out of God’s will and is suffering the logical consequences. I also reminded her that God is a merciful and gracious God of second chances and that the trial isn’t the goal…the goal is how she comes out of it…the lessons she learns through it.
As she began exploring her future and deciding on the path she would take, it became clear that her father was uniquely qualified to help her attain her goals. (We will share those at a later date.)
As this began to fall in place, her relationship with her mom deteriorated to a point where her mom refused to even speak with her or try to work out their differneces. (Much of their differences simply rests on her mother’s intense hatred of us and inability to understand Desi’s relationship with God. It is kind of a “choose me or them” attitude…in her world there cannot be relationships with both parents.)
Desi was stressed and trying to work through this. All to no avail. Her mom refused to talk and wanted her to move out. Desi’s future plans didn’t include her living with her mom for much longer anyways but time ran out. Desi gathered her things and moved out…to her car.
Life just got a lot harder!
Her dad and I helped her work through some possibilities and in the end she decided that coming to our home would be best. It will just be a temporary stepping stone on the path to her goal. But it will be a safe, supportive, loving place to rest while she gets her future in order.
I’m so incredibly excited to hold my girl again…in just another hour.
And just like the story of the Prodigal Son that Jesus told we will celebrate her return…because she was lost and is found.
More than the story of my prodigal child returning is the God Story.
God worked in my heart. When she left I never envisioned welcoming her home. God healed my brokenness, my hurt, and filled me with incredible love for my only girl. I actually miss her like crazy!
God changed her…opened her eyes. For as long as I have known her she has jumped through hoops to get her mom to love her like she needs. This has created a lot of drama for her and she has made a lot of unhealthy decisions in order to please her mom.
I got this text the other day from Desi:
It just hurts because I wish things were different. And honestly I long for the relationship I have with you, with my mom… I want that. But God knew,after all…he placed you in my life for a reason… Even though at the beginning I was very resentful towards you (for no reason) He knew I would need you. You’re the mother I need in my life no matter what life threw at us. I am very grateful for you, Faith. Just thinking about this now- God just threw at me another perfect reason I have you in my life today.
Yes I cried happy tears! I have been praying for Desi’s mom for years. How much easier it would have been on my girl for her mom to be the mom we all need! I never needed to be Desi’s mom or her everything. All I needed to be was what God asked me to be…the gap-filler and to love her like Jesus loves her. But I am her mom and she is my daughter. We will continue to pray and maybe one day she will have 2 moms (maybe even a 3rd when she marries)!
Another positive from what started as a bad situation is Desi realizes she cannot live her life to please her mom…instead she must live her life to please God alone. To hear her say she realizes there isn’t anything more she can do to work on their relationship and that their relationship is best from afar is sad. Oh but to then hear her say she is just praying to love her mom where she is…well that is just beautiful.
God is good! He has answered our prayers and brought our girl home whole in both spirit and body!
So after 223 days, I am going to celebrate this return and enjoy loving on my girl for the next little season in life. May it be rich and restorative!
Luke 15:32
But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.
We have finished our first two weeks of school…WHEW! This year is definitely going more smoothly than last year did. Perhaps it is because we arent moving in the middle of the year? That was chaotic to say the least!
Maybe it is because we have a dedicated space that forces me to be at the school table with them. Our classroom is in our basement so I also am not distracted by the household stuff. We have our classroom all set up with everything we need. We have a place to hang our work to show Daddy. We save the things we are proud of and then choose one item to put into our yearly “permanently save” file each week.
Maybe it is our routine. They eat, get dressed, brush teeth, do chores, and then hang out on the couch until the appointed time. We started getting up at 7 am and being on the couch by 8 am, but it wasn’t happening. I was doing a lot of drill sergeant yelling and they were doing 10 burpees if they were late. They win (and I do since I’m not yelling)…we are now just starting school around 8:30-9:00 am. The boys are good helpers. Daily they make their own beds. Each boy has a specific daily chore that he has “perfected”. Marcus wipes down their bathroom countertop/sinks and puts a fresh towel out. Bryan cleans the guest bathroom toilet seat, etc and the sink with clorox wipes and empties that bathroom trash. Gabriel cleans their toilet and empties the trash from their bathroom and the master bath. Grayson wipes every doorknob in the house. They all do their own laundry (including folding). They also have a day to empty the dishwasher. They help by dusting the entire house from top to bottom on cleaning day. They then check off their accomplishments to earn their weekly commisions. If they forget they don’t get paid. As I said…they are good helpers. Can anyone say “good husband material some day!”
So once all that mess is done we start our day. We now all have our God time together. We used to do it individually in our rooms but this is better. We meet on the couch and I read a chapter from my Bible while they follow along in theirs. Then we do our own devotionals followed by prayer time for each other and friends/family. This has been hugely beneficial and it helps them to have me model it daily. Secret benefit is to me…Mommy gets to read more than a quick devotional email while she brushes her teeth. My in depth time conversation time with Jesus happens on my runs.
Then we head down to our classroom. We start our day by tracing or drawing maps while we listen to “The Story of the World”. Next we review the information we need to memorize for Classical Conversations. Finally we start math, reading, phonics, spelling and handwriting.
We have been able to finish every day by lunchtime (12-12:30). So the afternoons are left open. Most days we do “rest time” (reading in beds), play, I do household chores and start baking any orders I have, run errands, and then we go to Taekwondo at 4. Marcus, Bryan, and Gabriel tested for and earned their white belts this week. Grayson is young and doesnt know enough yet. Look at his face…he wasnt happy about not earning his belt.
So to my point…homeschooling is for the kids, right? Well…this year is challenging their Mommy. I would consider myself to be a well-educated and highly capable adult, but I am learning a lot right along with them.
Classical Conversations requires them to memorize new facts from 7 areas (Timeline: 165 points in time, history sentences, math, english grammar, latin, geography, and science) weekly. Get this…they actually do it quite easily! I am learning new things right along with them. For example: I do not recall ever learning about Charlemagne or William the Conqueror. I also do not recall most of the more than basic geography of the world. Yeah I know the continents and the relative location of most of the major counties but that’s about it. (Sorry to any of my teachers who did teach this…I must have chunked it out of my brain to make room for something I deemed useful at the time.)
Bryan and Marcus are learning to write in cursive for the first time… ummm… yeah I haven’t written more than my signature in probaly 30 years. So I am “learning” to write neatly in cursive all over again. The boys are doing fantastic and like it way better than printing.
Also…Taekwondo is requiring me to learn things to help them. Never thought I would count in Korean!
We start Awanas in another week so there will be more memory work then. Please let all the verses be ones I know!!!!!
So this Momma is busily cramming her brain full and it is tired. This is why my kids seem exhausted. It is a lot! In a good way of course!
I’ve decided that homeschooling might not just be for the kids…
With this I am so glad I am only baking 1-2 orders a week. Last night I baked “outside of my shell” with this turtle cake. This accomplishment feels good!
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Proverbs 9:9
Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.
Today was a glorious day of firsts!
We started our school year. Daddy was able to be home and pray over all of us before we began this grand adventure today so it was pretty cool. We homeschool but have decided to add Classical Conversations to our curriculum. BEST decision ever!! The kids and I love it.
Today was our first “community day”. I am a tutor. (Which means I lead/teach a class.) My class has six 8-10 year olds. Let me just say it was an amazing experience and I loved it! I got kid compliments like, “Your class is WAY better than regular school,” and “You are fun!” So my goals were achieved. My learners were fully engaged and loving learning. The most exciting thing…I got to weave God into EVERYTHING I taught…I got to point every detail back to the Creator of the Universe. Just plain awesomeness!
The boys are filled with information and are recounting their days with so much detail. Note: this has never been the case. In the past they could barely tell me anything about their day.
Tomorrow we will have our first day of school at home in our basement “school zone”. We have a cozy lil spot with fun lighting and all. School will start at 8 with family Bible study. Then we will listen to stories as we trace CC Maps. Next we will work on our week’s grammar/memory work. Finally we will do reading, math, phonics, spelling, and handwriting.
I should mention that The Brown Academy of Excellence has excellent ratings. It boasts a 100% graduation rate and an individualized education plan. Students have daily access to a gourmet kitchen that provides 3 meals and 2-3 snacks a day. The chef uses organic ingredients and grass fed beef. Better still…the students have access to a personal baker. Students engage in activities such as biking and hiking on a regular basis. Students are highly responsible with a host of chores that prepare them to be successful adults. They are also far beyond their public school cohorts in academics.
Our other new item is that all four boys started Taekwando today. I think it is a “hit” also! We are excited about the many benefits that the boys will get such as physical fitness, focus, discipline, etc. Since it is impossible to do everything we gave the boys a choice of some sports and a trampoline or a year of Taekwando. They chose Taekwando. If they continue to express interest then we will continue to attend Taekwando.
Summer is in full swing at the Brown house. We have been really busy.
My momma visited from May 9th thru June 12th. We drove across the country to Ohio to visit my dad’s side of the family. We stopped in Branson, MO, for a few days. The boys rode their first big roller coasters.
Baseball season has begun. We have three different teams. Bryan and Gabriel play tball on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Marcus practices on Mondays and has games on Saturdays. Notice the mountains in the background as they play ball…seriously…can it get any better than that!!!
We are also in the midst of swim lessons…2 hours a day…4 days a week for 2 weeks. Grayson (3) is swimming now…he cant raise his head to take a breath without sinking but he can do a swim/crawl thing that gets him from point a to point b. Gabriel (5) is learning to turn his head to the side during his freestyle. His arms are coming fully out of the water and he doesnt look like he is about to drown now. Bryan (5) and Marcus (7) are working on perfecting their strokes and are looking good in the water.
On my side…I am running a lot of mileage early in the morning (5-5:30am). Guess what!!! In Colorado I have to wear sunscreen at 5am or I actually burn 😂
I also am starting to get as busy as I want to get baking (2-3 small orders or one big one a week).
The biggest news…we bought a house here in Colorado. We closed last Friday and get to move in mid-July. We spent a lot of time praying that God would lead us to a home where we could really love on and be Jesus to our neighbors. I guess this one is it. I got that “ahhhhh” feeling when I walked in and they accepted our offer over all the others. God moved lots of pieces to make every thing work out smoothly. Our current landlord let us out of our lease early, we found tenants to replace us, and my realtor will now manage his property for him. We have four weeks until we move but I have us mostly packed. Might be a wee bit anxious to move!!!!
So life is good…busy…and fun! God has been good to us and is allowing us a sweet period atop the mountain (literally).
Lamentations 3:22-25
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,to the one who seeks him.
Moving can create some chaos in terms of school. Fortunately we homeschool so it isn’t a huge deal that we missed almost a month of school in October.
In Texas we did a co-op that was awesome on Mondays and Thursdays. Texas has zero regulations on homeschooling. I didn’t have to report that we were homeschooling, report attendance, or report progress. We just did our thing without interference.
When we got to Colorado I began searching for a homeschool group or co-op like we had in Texas. Much to my dismay and surprise I couldn’t find one. Then I started seeing that Colorado has some requirements that made me think, “I’m not liking this…”
Homeschool families in Colorado must tell the local school district 14 days before they begin homeschooling. They must teach specific subjects; keep attendance showing a minimum of 4 hrs per day for 172 days; do a standardized test every other year starting in 3rd grade AND make a minimum score or pay a professional evaluator to evaluate your children; and send grades, assessment results, immunizations, and attendance to the school district yearly.
My first thought was that my privacy feels violated. Who is the government to try to regulate how I teach my kids? (I do get that there are people who don’t do what they should, but that isn’t us.)
Then…the whole testing focus is a HUGE reason we homeschool. I love the fact that we can learn in so much more of a fun way and cut out the busy work. We don’t have to wait on everyone else to finish. We aren’t held down by the kids who aren’t at our reading level or worried when we are slow getting a concept. We can take breaks when we want. We aren’t getting in a car half asleep, shoving food down quickly, spending 6-8 hours at school, and then spending our evenings doing homework.
As I began to freak out, I discovered a little loop hole…I could enroll in a Non-Public Independent School and completely avoid the public school district. SCORE! There are still some things I have to report yearly, but I’d much rather report to a group of like-minded families than a school district that is losing money because I choose not to send my kids to them.
Now that we were enrolled in an Independent school, I needed to figure out the non-existent co-op issue. As I looked I realized Charter schools are HUGE in Colorado and almost every one had a homeschool program. What…Homeschool programs at the school district funded charter schools??!!! Seemed kindof counter intuitive…
Some of these programs taught every subject 1-2 days per week and even provided the textbooks. These were obviously not in line with my philosophy of homeschooling from a Biblical viewpoint. So they were immediately ruled out.
Then I found a charter school program that only enriched in Science and Spanish. That sounded much more like what I was interested in. After talking to the director, I felt confident that this program had like minded families in attendance and that the instruction would meet the needs of our family. So we enrolled. This year we go on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11-2:30. What is different is that it is free (as they get money for the kids attendance from the state), certified teachers instruct, and there is zero expectation for me to help or volunteer. The boys love it and I am pleased with what they are learning and with their teachers.
For next year I have made some big decisions…
First, we will homeschool year round. Why? Well kids lose so much of what they learned in the time that we take off in the summer. I also find that I get tired of teaching. I find that after 4 days during the week, the 5th day is usually not a very exuberant effort on my part. (I’d rather be having pure fun with them!) I also find that I crave a break every 3-4 weeks or so. So we are going to go year round with a 4 day max week and shorter, more frequent breaks.
Second, we are changing curriculums…from Horizons to Abeka. Lots of factors there but Abeka seems more cohesive and it just looks like a better fit for us. Our homeschool operates like a regular classroom…we sit in our assigned seats, raise our hands, have a routine, do independent work after we learn a concept, etc. I suppose this is because I was a teacher and I don’t want the weird homeschool kids who dont know how to function in the real world. It is important to me that they understand how social norms work and can be successful in a learning situation outside of our home (aka college). We have a lot of fun, but our motto is:
WE WORK, WE PLAY, WE REST!
Work is school and chores. Play is play (and PE). Rest is quiet reading time…when our brains grow and our bodies recover.
Finally, our enrichment program will be from 9:30-2:30 on Tuesday and Thursdays next year. Everyone but Grayson will attend. (Then the next year Grayson will start and I will have 2 days to myself…seems like a dream!) They will do a rotating elective, creative writing, science, and spanish.
Yes homeschooling is different here but so far it seems to be working out nicely.
Deuteronomy 6:5-8
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
This month is the month dedicated to hearts…both our physical and emotional hearts. All around me are the reminders. I created a bunch of little red hats for babies in the hospital to emphasize heart health. My church has a sermon series on the heart. It was Valentines Day. My husband works with hearts. There are heart songs out. See…lots of heart reminders.
This month has been one of heart break…as a parent having to exercise tough love with a child…knowing you are doing what is necessary and the only option left, but hurting as you do it.
It is heart breaking to call the police on a child…to hear the police explain that an arrest might be made if the situation isn’t corrected. It is hard to listen as they explain if your child is cooperative they will just issue a summons…if not, they will take to your child to jail.
Colorado vs Texas Difference Side Note: I’m telling you the Douglas County Sheriff is SERIOUS about theft and fraud. They had the situation resolved in under 2 hours. Believe me this NEVER would have even been addressed in San Antonio.
It is heart breaking to hear one child tear down others because they dont share blood. Especially since they are unable to even comprehend the situation due to their age. All of my children are chosen…meaning I have chosen to love each of them. All of my children are deserving of every bit of love they’ve been given and will continue to be given. No one child…confused and wayward or not…is more valuable than another. Niel feels the same way. Those who believe blood makes a family are sorely mistaken. A family is a not about a bond of blood, but a bond of love…a promise and commitment to love.
It is heart breaking that so many in this world think to lift themselves up by stepping on others. It really only hurts their own souls. When will people really understand this concept? Probably the majority of our world will never get that real power isn’t about lifting yourself on the backs of others…it’s about lifting up everyone around you.
I heard a Christian artist, Danny Gokey, explain his song “Tell Your Heart To Beat Again” like this: God has healed our hearts…but we have to come into agreement with God. We have to silence the voice of the enemy. Sometimes everything that can be done has been done and the time has come that it’s up to you to allow God to work.
So as this crazy chapter in our lives is being closed, my prayer is that God continues to chase after and bring our child back into a real relationship with Him…that she’ll tell her heart to beat again.
I pray that my heart will heal and continue to beat with love for the world around me. I pray that this particular spirtual battle for the heart of our child will be won not just in eternity but also here on earth in this lifetime.
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Colorado vs Texas…It’s so Different.
One of the big differences of where we live in Colorado is that people seem to sort of hibernate. You still see people running, biking, hiking, skiing, etc, but you don’t see people just hanging out. The kids can’t ride their bikes, and in order to play in the backyard I have to put their snow boots, mittens, etc on…that just isn’t appealing.
We went to the zoo and were practically the only ones there. (It was a little chilly!)
When we do go out during the day I wear my normal attire (some sort of running tights or yoga pants and an athletic shirt) with my minimal makeup (eyeliner and mascara) and my hair in a headband or under a hat. In San Antonio I would have run into at least a dozen friends who looked awesome with their makeup, hair, and stylish apparel. My dear friend, Emily, taught me that I really didn’t care because I was taking care of myself and having fun. BUT IN COLORADO…even dressed like this…I fit in and sometimes look like I’m really put together. No one here gets fancied up…I LOVE IT!!!!!!
We have also noticed that not as many people seem to be eating out. We never wait for a table. The roads are DEAD by 8 pm.
The stores are not crowded and parking is never an issue. The sales associates are super helpful and genuinely seem happy to see us.
We have been discussing what this is about. Is it the cold? Are people house-broke? Seriously the housing market is insane. We would have to pay more that double to own a home equivalent to our last home in San Antonio.
We eat in a lot more…yes that means I cook a lot more. NOT EXCITING as I make 26 meals/snacks every week day!!! My husband is most helpful on the weekends and likes to cook so I get a reprieve. (One of many reasons I love him!) I’ve been trying a bunch of new recipes so that is relatively fun. My friend, Susie, and I have been swapping dinner recipes.
The kids are being subjected to my new smoothie madness! They are truly loving it. We have been discovering a new smoothie every day for our afternoon snack. Everyday after lunch my eater, Bryan, begins wondering aloud what our smoothie snack will be. LOL!
So far everyone LOVES the spinach smoothie: 1 cup of unsweetened milk (regular, almond, coconut, whatever), 1 cup of spinach or kale, 1 frozen banana, a tiny squirt of honey (we don’t even use the honey).
The cocoa-peanut butter is also a winner: 1 cup of unsweetened milk (regular, almond, coconut, whatever), 1 frozen banana, 1 tbsp peanut butter, 1 tsp cocoa powder, squirt of honey.
I mustn’t forget…Spurs fans have NOTHING on Broncos fans. Perhaps it is because it is only a weekly game. If you want to eat or shop alone…go during a game. I need Broncos gear because I am so out of place without orange/blue. (Don’t worry I will NEVER be a nuggets fan…I will bleed Spurs until I die.)
Just a glimpse into the new life we live…it is good and sweet!
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
The Brown Bears 